


It's a small world after all

by siangjiang



Category: Cracked - Ambiguous Fandom, Cracked.com, Cracked: After Hours, Escort Mission - Cracked.com
Genre: Crossover, M/M, Sexual Confusion, Soren being in denial, talk about sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-08-18 20:57:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8175887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siangjiang/pseuds/siangjiang
Summary: Soren looked at Katie in disbelief "Michael has a roommate?""Or boyfriend" she said "We're not really sure"





	

Soren looked at Katie in disbelief "Michael has a roommate?"

"Or boyfriend" she said "We're not really sure"

"Since when? I've never heard anything about a roommate"

"Since forever. I think they've lived together longer than you've known Michael"

"I've met him" Daniel joined in, just to prove Katie right.

"And so have I, many many times at Michael's house" Katie added.

"He lives in a house!?" Soren seemed genuinely surprised. 

Katie rolled her eyes "What else is he supposed to live in?"

"An affordable apartment. Possibly a zoo. Besides, what kind of mad man _choose_ to live with Michael?"

"His name is Ben, and he's actually a really nice guy"

"Super nice" Daniel said "It was him who gave me that weirdly good recipe for pineapple pie"

Soren scanned Daniel's face to try and guess just how much Daniel liked this Ben person. He didn't seem overly excited, so Soren assumed he had nothing to be worried about. "Okay" he said "I'll look forward to meeting him then"

"You two actually have a lot in common" Katie smiled "Both muscular guys who like sports and-"

"If he lives with Michael I doubt it"

It was then that the door to the diner opened and Michael walked in with an older, athletic looking guy in tow. Soren's eyes went wide.

Michael sat heavily on his chair like it was his favorite spot on a couch. "What's up, bitches? What's today's topic?"

"Hi guys" the man said with a warm smile, which both Daniel and Katie returned.

"Ben!?" Soren said " _You're_ Michael's roommate!?"

"Soren!? No way!" Ben laughed and went around the table to give him a proper man hug "What are you doing here? Wait...You're a nerd!?"

"You know each other?" Katie asked, amusement clear on her face.

Soren looked nervous "Kinda-"

"Heck yeah we know each other!" Ben said. When he grabbed a chair and started pulling it over to their table Soren tried to signal 'no' to him, but Ben didn't notice and sat down. "We work out at the same gym, though Soren spends more time on the weights" he patted Soren's upper arm.

"Really?" Daniel said "I've never seen you there"

"I go to a different gym sometimes" Soren sounded a bit guilty "It's not as big, but it's closer"

While he and Daniel were clearly having a whole conversation with looks alone, Ben's eyes suddenly lit up "Wait, Daniel is 'Dan'?"

Soren's eyes snapped right back to him.

"He talks about me?" Daniel asked, flattered.

"Yeah, all the time, dude. He asked for my help with..."

Out the corner of his eye he noticed Soren making a 'kill this conversation right now' sign.

"...working out. Those back muscles can be really difficult. You know how it is"

"Indeed they can" Soren interrupted before Daniel could ask any more questions "Well Ben, it was fun seeing you outside of my _safe space_ , but we're about to talk about nerdy stuff, so..."

Ben made a crooked smile. "Still can't believe you're a nerd" he said and gently pushed Soren's arm with a fist "But it's cool. No judgement" He got up and looked around the table "Katie, Daniel, we'll see each other whenever, and Michael do you need me to pick you up later?"

"Nah man, I'm driving with style tonight" Michael said "Katie's giving me a ride" Katie brushed her shoulder as if she was wearing a fancy suit.

"Awesome. And Soren-" Ben looked at Soren who was hiding his face behind an enormous teacup "-I'll see you at the gym?"

Soren nodded and waved him off.

**********

Later that night Ben sat on the couch next to Michael who was lazily playing a video game.

"What is that?"

"Kicking my ass" Michael said annoyed and threw the controller besides him "What was up with you and Soren today? He acted really weird"

"So did you" Ben said "I mean, you're always weird, but you're _really_ weird when you're with your friends"

"I get excited when I get out, okay? And don't try to worm around this. What was all that about Daniel?"

"Shit man, I had no idea Soren was so deeply in the closet. You guys do know about them, right?"

"We had our suspicions, yeah. Daniel showed up wearing Soren's hoodie once. I think they think we don't know though"

"Man, he's been talking about 'Dan' forever. It started when he asked me to be his spotter on the weights, then we started talking and became work out buddies. One day I told him I was living with another man and after showering I found Soren waiting for me in the parking lot. One thing led to another and we ended up having sex in his car-"

"You had sex with Soren?" Michael looked Ben up and down "You're never seeing him again"

Ben just laughed "Don't get possessive on me. Anyway, he said it was his first time with a man, and started babbling about this nerdy guy from work who he was head over heels in love with but he didn't know what to do, and so on" Ben nudged Michael with an elbow "I told him about my nerdy guy, and I sort of became his nerd-lover coach"

"Did you sleep with him again?"

Ben sighed "What's this now? You said you didn't want this to be serious. You know I go on dates"

"With women"

"And some men. That's what being bisexual means. Why does that even matter?"

"Because I can't compete with Soren, with his stupid blonde hair, abs and rock climbing. I don't have to compete with women because that's like apples and oranges"

"Come here" Ben put his arms around Michael and pulled him into a hug "I think you're very sexy, okay? You got a sort of dad vibe going on with the beard, sweaters and tallness"

"...did that sound less creepy in your head?"

"Yeah..." Ben kissed Michael's hair "And yes, I had sex with Soren again, but he didn't really want me. It was just an outlet for all that pent up sexual confusion and frustration for Daniel. After they started dating we only gave each other handjobs once. I thought it was because he was finally being satisfied and I was really happy for him, but after the way he behaved at the diner I think it might be because he doesn't like sleeping with more than one guy. Like that makes it less gay or something. I mean, I knew he wasn't going to shout it from the rooftops but I thought he was at least out to you guys"

"He still goes on dates with women too. Don't know how Daniel feels about it..."

Ben drew circles on Michael's arm "Do you want me to stop seeing other people? Because I won't mind. None of them mean anything to me"

With closed eyes Michael took a deep breath and said "No, you'll just get clingy and weird"

Ben nodded to himself. Seemed like Soren wasn't the only one in denial.

**Author's Note:**

> Changed N00b's name from Alan to the correct Ben.  
> L33t has worn Michael's Mike cap so I think it's fair to assume his name is also Michael.   
> Also, N00b has made a few comments suggesting he's openly bisexual, like how he casually mentioned he partly watches football to look at the players' asses.
> 
> My dream scenario would be if they ever had a more in depth discussion about Die Hard in After Hours, and N00b showed up with Michael to join in.


End file.
